Komik ingilizce msn nickleri

• You and the bank own a very lovely home
• I would tell you to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it
• All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
• Drinking is the answer, I don't remember the question
• Superman is a travestite
• Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
• Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question
• Lower the age of puberty!
• God bless Atheism
• I drink to make other people interesting
• My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex
• An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
• A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't
• Anarchists of the world, unite!
• Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
• Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
• Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
• Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
• Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one
• You know it's always business doing pleasure with you
• If you throw rice at weddings, will asian people throw hotdogs?
• I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?
• One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
• When I'm good, I'm really good, but when I'm bad I'm better
• I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
• 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not...
• I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet
• English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
• You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same
• If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
• Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!
• I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
• ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! i'LL MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!
• I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)
• Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
• For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
• I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not
• You're unique, just like everyone else....
• Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
• Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
• Save a mouse, eat a pussy
• Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-anus
• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
• Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns
• Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbours ain't!
• When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. :-)
• The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
• You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!
• Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
• If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
• I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
• We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
• Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke
• As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard
• An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!
• What do an Icebear have after swimming? Snowballs!
• Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
• There is no ugly woman, There is some vodka
• I have a pen, you have a phone number... think of the possibilities
• There must be something wrong with my eyes; I can't take them off you
• I lost my phone number can I have yours?
• Are your legs tired? because you have been running through my mind all day
• Are you doing anything tonight, because I sure hope it is me!
• I know milk does the body good....but damn....how much have you been drinking?
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• I'm feeling a little off today. Would you mind turning me on?
• If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would put U and I together
• Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants?
• If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
• In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamphlet look so calm?
• I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
• Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
• 3 words to ruin a guys ego. is it in??
• You can better lose a lover than love a loser
• I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
• Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of crap!
• Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
• Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
• Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
• Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
• We came, we saw, we drank beer
• Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
• You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
• Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
• Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
• Save water, drink beer
• Everybody makes mistakes, that's why they put erasers on pencils
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
• Unite against togetherness!
• Reality Sucks! I'm Gonna Keep On Dreamin
• If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...
• No fear! (Put your NAME) is here!
• I Don't Like The Drugs, But The Drugs Like Me
• Life's a bitch. Be its pimp
• I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!
• A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts
• Save a tree, eat a beaver
• By the time you read this, you've already read it
• Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
• Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times
• Dont steal, the government hates competition
• If you hate me, i love you too. It ain't my fault i'm better than you
• Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
• I'd rather spend one minute holding you...than a lifetime knowing I never could
• Dear God make me a bird, so i can fly far far away from here.
• Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?
• I'm like a butterfly.. pretty to see, hard to catch
• Life is 4 living, Love is for giving!
• (L) I dont know when you will be here, I dont know where you're gone, so I will sit here, waiting for the dawn
• I'm not handicaped, I'm just LAZY!


• I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof?!


• There's a *NEW* Mexico?!?


• I'm telling you ociffer, I'm not drunk!
  
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
  
• I love cats...they taste just like chicken
  
• I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect! ;)
  
• Reality: An illusion due to lack of alcohol.
  
• Roses are red, Violets Are blue, When god gave brains, Where the hell where you 
  
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  
• Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
  
• When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you
  
• Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!
  
• They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance!
  
• I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
  
• Dont steal, the government hates competition!
  
• Yes.. It was I who let the dogs out!
  
• Don't drink and drive, you could spill the drink in your car!
  
• [2 + 2 = 5] for extremely large values of 2.
  
• My cat's name is mittens!
  
• Roses r red Violets r blue God made me beautiful But what the hell did he do to you!
  
• Act your age, not your shoe size!
  
• God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
  
• What happens if you get scared half to death 2 timez?
  
• Dig a lil hole Planet a lil seed Grow a lil tree Smoke a lil weed
  
• You cant have everything, Where would u put it?
  
• You were so cute as a baby... what happened?!?
  
• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
  
• Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!
  
• I'm knot dumb!
  
• My door is always open so feel free to leave
  
• This DOG is a good DOG way DOG to keep an fool DOG busy DOG. Read this again without DOG.
  
• Be selfish just once... If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!
  
• I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met ur brother!
  
• I love ur smile and ur eyes...Damn im good at telling lies! :D
  
• I'd Get Up And Do Something With Myself, But I'd Rather Stay In Bed!
  
• My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S
  
• Why do our noses run and our feet smell?!?!
  
• Those are my principles. If you don't like them... I have others.
  
• You may be only young once, but you can be immature forever!
  
• I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!
  
• Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
  
• (8)roll roll roll ur joint, gently down the line, take a toke, inhale dat smoke, and blow ur friggin mind!(8)
  
• Damn right I'm good in bed i can sleep for hours!
  
• Now that I have a gun...u may run or hide :P
  
• Knowledge Is Knowing That A Tomato Is A Fruit, Wisdom Is Not Putting It In A Fruit Salad.
  
• God made elfs God made deers God made u such a queer
  
• Im not crazy, ask mr bunny and mrs dodo here
  
• If u want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen
  
• In jail u get food, in jail u get tea, in jail u get anything butt... the KEY!
  
• I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
  
• I tought u were crazy, now i c ur nuts!
  
• Dinner is read when the smoke alaram goes off !
  
• Life's a game. Fishing is Serious!
  
• Be kool.. Dont go to school :D
  
• Silence is Golden.. But Shouting is fun!
  
• It Worries Me How Dumb You Are
  
• Roll roll roll your joint, twist down the end, take a puff thats enough, pass it to a friend!  

       İngilizce tuhaf msn nickleri

• Girls Are Like Fireworks, Their Kisses Light Up The Night, Their Hugs Make Everything Bright!
• Roll roll roll your joint, twist down the end, take a puff thats enough, pass it to a friend!  
• If all the worlds a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
• How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
• Wouldn't it be ironic to die in the living room?
• Why are buttons on boy's shirts on a different side than girl's shirts?
• Why are things typed up but written down?
• Why do we say bye bye but not hi hi?
• What is a male ladybug called?
• If you crossed a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
• Why are boxing rings square?
• How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• If you tell a joke, and no one laughs, was it really a joke?
• How do we know Humpty Dumpty is an egg, if it does not mention the word egg in the nursery rhyme?
• What hair colour do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
• Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
• Why is abbreviation such a long word?
• Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
• If diamonds are a girl's best friend, and dogs are mans best friend, which sex is smarter?
• Who tastes the dog food to know it has new and improved flavour?
• If the speed of light 1000,000 km/s, what is the speed of dark?

       Romantik ingilizce msn nickler

• Love is the beauty of the soul.
• Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
• Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.
• Love rules without rules.
• Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
• Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
• A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
• How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
• Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
• Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
• It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.
• (L)just give us a chance and we'll see what happens for romance(L)
• If I could be anything in the world, I would be ur tears so I can b born in ur eyes, live down ur cheeks and die on ur lips
• (L) I love you from the bottom of my heart.. but do u?
• Cool, bad, but cute !
• I need love that stretches across the world, from sea to shining sea
• If you really love me like you say, why dont I believe you?
• (L)Love is like wind... u can feel it but u cant hear it! (L)
• Love is like a flower, let it grow!
• Cruel but Cute, so I'm worth it!
• I'm Cool, I'm cute, I'm gonna kick you with my boot!
• I luv u 4eva n always 2 da end... I cant live without u cuz ur my best frend...
• Your a special friend like the many different species of turtles... u r unique in many special ways... be yourself!
• (l)Im a little cabbage broken into two, my leaves I give to others, my heart I give to u (l)
• (L)When a friend walks in, The whole World walks Out(L)
• Love is like a quicksand, the deeper you fall in, the harder it is to get out!
• Love is like a baseball game 3 strikes and you're... OUT!
• a million words wud not bring u bak i kno coz iv tried - but neither wud a million tears...I know coz I've cried
• God made the land, God made the sea, he needed a princess and so he made me!
• When tears flow in your eyes... Always remember two things: I'm here and I care
• A ring is round and never ends, that is how long we will be friends
• I love you more then yeterday, and less then tomorrow
• Love comes and goes but friends stay forever!
• A memory lasts forever, never does it die. True friends stay together and never say goodbye!
• Friends Never say goodbye, they say hello!!
• I'd like a diamond, I'd like some gold, I'd like a pearl, Because I'm daddy's little girl :)
• Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it.
• Love is like a bar of soap... (L) just when you grab it, it slips away
• Once I was told love would save the world... I doubt that!
• You know I love you, You know I care, Whenever you need me I will be there!
• I loved u once, I love u still, I always have and always will...
• Live, Love and Learn!
• Love is like blood, its always within you!
• If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right
• Stupid cupid... stop pickin on me!
• Some girls/boys have 7 boys/girls for 7 days but I have one for always
• Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you!
• Love is like war..:: Easy To Start.. Difficult To End..And.. Impossible To Forget..!!
• Love Is More Than Just A Kiss
• Be smart,be clever put me in your heart for ever
• Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell
• I Close My Eyes And Kiss Your Lips, Then I Go To Paradise
• Love is a Feeling that Lasts Forever..
• You can fall in the water, you can fall off a tree but the best way to fall is to fall in love with me
• Roses are red diaments are plastic, I am great, you are fantastic!
• Don't love me for fun, love me for a reason .. let the reason be love
• You can win me, you can lose me but try 2 never use me
• Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions
• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
• Love is a slow poison
• Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in
• Accountants are the best lovers. They can do it all night long and keep their balance!
• True Love is like ghosts, Everyone talks about, But very few have seen